Pony Optimism

Jill was grateful for the free bus from campus right downtown Toronto to the Agricultural Expo.  She also recounted how the lady in the tack shop booth at the Royal Winter Fair show asked her back (after she'd used her best line as a conversation starter)"Do you have horses?"

"Not right now" she had sighed. "I'm kinda here looking for someone else's horse to ride. And you know how THAT goes..."  The vendor stared back at Jill with a completely blank look on her face, so she moved on...

Meanwhile, after being without an income for a long time, Roomie had got at job at minimum wage, and then her pay jumped to $14/hr and then to $16hr in six short months. Progress? She never should have happily mentioned to the mechanic about getting her third raise in short order, because he went ahead and did the expensive work on her car without checking with her first. What about their agreed plan to put it up on the hoist and TELL HER WHAT THEY WERE DEALING WITH? And here the mechanic threw in an oil change she didn't need without ever finding out about a few of the other car trouble issues she'd wanted him to look at fixing. And while she on the phone with the mechanic getting this news, her boss walked off in front of her with her lunch, as well as his to eat.

But none of that was any excuse for forgetting to call her dad on his actual birthday! Or so Roomie lamented, terribly upset with herself. Jill could see how she would feel bad.

The conversation in kitchen as they each prepared their own meals was a constructive comfort they could offer each other. Jill recounted about her lunch date. She loved the Irish accent and ambition. Not to mention his Ramones t-shirt and tattoos, ha. But she'd been ranting.
"Dude, The Human Race is not going to last another 50 years. We are going extinct. That's why I think the most important social justice issue of our time right is the environmental issue."

"Really?" She was surprised he was surprised. He was political, not her.

"In my opinion, especially the water issue…"


Did it sound distinctly like Jill was going Green? Roomie said she had long understood the economics of vegetarianism. It was clear as a great big pie chart where the amount of wheat we have to produce to feed the beef (with a myriad of other environmental impacts) that we then eat, VERSUS the amount of wheat required to sustain the human race if they ate it directly. Jill added about the animal rights aspect and how there was more cruelty and inhumane activity in the egg and dairy industry and how one had to strive for more ethical, healthy decisions.

The next thing you knew she was ranting about the pasturized animals creating soil as they move in a sustainable system, and a return to habits of an earlier culture. Was she serious about finding a way to return to the pony and cart?

The Heart Ache of Re-Parting

On the way home from auditing the Eventing Team clinic in far away land, Jill stopped by to pat her retired thoroughbred buddy from the 7 year eventing sponsorship.  That had been her hayday, ha.  He'd retired with back problems to a hunter/jumper barn near his owner's house, and far, far away from Jill's current residence in the university town. 

He ignored her as she walked past the paddock the first time, to see if there was anyone in the barn to ask for permission.  She seemed to be the only person around.  When she spoke, joking to the dogs to go herd him for her, he pratically trotted up the hill to the corner of the paddock she was closest to. Most folks would assume it coincidence, but Jill knew better.  Horses remember friendships just like people do and he had been, and obviously still was, as fond as her as she was of him.  She was reminded of the saying "There is no secret so close as that between a horse and rider." 

She was pleased that he looked fit and strong - she wondered if it was just from daily turn out in the large hilly paddock or if they might actually be working him.  She had forgotten how dappled he gets in the summer time. He was so handsome! And, he kissed her! Nuzzling her in their old pattern of affection.  She could actually give him some treats because the grass on the other side of the fence was better than the grass inside...  it was both a joy to see him and heartache to leave him again.  After a half hour of just hanging out there chatting, scratching, patting and all, she got back in the vehicle trying not to cry.

There had been so much change in the colour in the leaves even overnight. It was really a beautiful drive!

Good Hellos and Bad Goodbyes

"Do you remember the grey horse owned by the vet, Reg Butler?" Jill was on show grounds, making small talk with the pony club mom at the trailer parked beside hers, trying to find ground where their past paths overlapped...


He was a compact, dappled 4 yr old the first day Jill tried him out to see if she could handle him.  He was too much horse for the vet's daughter, and she was hoping to snag the ride since she had her commutes covered and was even generating a paycheque profit from trips to the stable.  All she needed now was a properly sporting partnership and some-horse-buddy to love...  Reg always had challenging, talented horses and was an owner it was fun to chat with and keep up to date - not to mention respect the opinions of and trust the medical decisions to.


Jill rode Chelsea Morning around the sand ring, and enjoyed his amazing flatwork for a full hour.  They didn't jump unsupervised at the stable since the boss had changed insurance companies.  Chelsea was so comfortable.  Supple, rhythmical and athletic.  But quite goey, rather spooky and ready for action, ha.  She thought they were a perfect fit!  Was he an Irish Thoroughbred?  She couldn't wait to report to the boss and the vet about their harmonious time together.


When she was untacking, a first time visitor to the stable, approached to say "it was beautiful to watch a partnership like yours in motion.  I could really tell that you own this horse and have been working together for years.  Just beautiful!" 


To her new nodding friend on show grounds Jill joked, smug with the real facts. "I beat my own coach that season, to collect the silver year-end plaque, ha." 


She didn't mention how the award was received after her heart was broken that same short summer, when she showed up at the stable at 4 am to braid his handsomeness for a show, only to be unable to find her pony, who had been sold and shipped away late the night before...

A Not So Easy Lesson

Hurtled lately?  Jill was filling Roomie in on the lesson she'd missed.

 "I could see the dirt coming for a long time before I hit it, but it didn't really hurt." She'd announced pretty much the same thing, getting up right away during the lesson. Thank god it didn't even knock the wind out of her.  And, that she just got it done. Shaking, like you do after a fall.

Her right hand and arm was pretty wrenched though. The index fingers became swollen and unusable as the eve wore on... You're not supposed to hold on to your horse, as you fall, but Jill usually did. Instinct from the road hacks and cross country she thought. In this case, they were approaching together and then, splat, she was on one side of the jump, as far as the reins plus her fully stretched arm and hand would reach, while he was still on the other.

She'd joked in the lesson "I think this horse should be REnamed!" They all called him Easy. And then trying to not repeat past mistakes, she cantered around to jump the vertical WITH THE HORSE, instead of ahead of him.  The teacher had clarified that what happened was, Jill checked the chesnut back as he came around the corner, coming on too strong, and he ignored it. So she gave up on slowing and decided to go with him for the long spot, just as he proceeded to take my earlier directions, with a full stop.  So, ya, she got ahead of him.

A fellow student describing it to another rider in the barn said, "you could see the moment of confusion, and then total freedom! ha ha, and then Jill the ground."

The student for the next lesson said, with sympathy to Jill "oh, so he shot you like a slingshot too?" and recounted a lesson she'd seen earlier in the week... 

Creature Comfort

As the others from the riding lesson were grooming their horses they were making conversation about polyps, and colonosocopies. Jill was glad to be working in the other aisle alone. She had nothing she wanted to add to the conversation. She didn't even want to listen to it. 

The ladies were also talking about Roomie's poor mom at the mall by herself for mother's day. Roomie was away for the lesson but they all knew how destructive the interaction with her family could be for her. It was true that they supported Roomie's decision to keep her distance from them and to let the state take care of her aging parents. But it was also true they also felt sorry for said parents.  Meanwhile Jill herself was almost sick with grief, that the mutually agreed, shared, special occasion flower delivery had been late for all her siblings promises. Why would she entrust the duty to her, when she knew better? Her poor mom. 

With a conscious shift in her thinking pattern, Jill decided to wonder how crazy fun it would be to get romantic with someone in the tack room with her boots still on! And then she sent a secret stable hallway text to her current heart throb that it would be nice to kiss him. He was a really good kisser and kissing was so special to her. It felt so close and tender the way their lips could meet. Sweet!

But, in the blink of an eye, he ditched out their Sunday plan for a hike-with-hack potential, having partied too hard (without her of course) the nite before. He didn't even say sorry or sound disappointed or anything! 

And then, he texted later that he wished to see her. So, she tried to surprise him with a quick visit but he barely even greeted her! His eyes were glued to a computer screen and she was clearly interrupting. Obviously he expected her to wait until he was done checking Facebook messages to talk to her. She was offended.  True, it was time-limited internet access he was using and true she was descending on his parked car as he used the library internet from the parking lot a little earlier than he may have been expecting her... but jeesh.  

It was also true that his disinterest in her company was obvious, and really hurt her feelings. She stomped off in a huff, slamming the car door behind her. Telling him off would be like yelling at him for not liking her enough and, she knew not to try and change his behaviour but to just conduct herself accordingly... When would someone wanting the same things as her appear? Someone actually wanting her appear??

She couldn't imagine how inconsolably sad she'd be if she didn't have the smell of her horse friends to snuggle into. She felt saved by the chance to bury her face in the crest of horse, mane and all. Inhale, relax, lean, exhale. MMMMMmmmmm. For real. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

More Flashbacks

"Really?" At first Jill thought he sounded so surprised when she said it because she'd hugged him on his arrival. She'd said she was fearless professionally and that the only time she was ever shy was if something was personal. And then she remembered telling him 4 years ago she'd been too shy to introduce herself, ha.

And, so it goes.  Perhaps not such a bad thing to reveal about herself?
*

"Little Jo Jo?"  When she stopped in at a friend's farm, Dee asked after Jill's sis by this cute nickname, after Jill'd been bragging about the latest important academic accomplishments and credentials, of a feminist Jill was famous for inspiring.

"Do you remember the day I had to double her across the creek on Potsie because it was so swollen and rushing that spring?"  Jill remembered the day that rotten/delightful pony Blue took off on her, and how she stayed on! What a good little rider! She held on while that pony galloped back to the barn as fast as he could. He ran right INTO the barn and right INTO his stall and she was still on his back.  Jill was a working student in those days and remembered the time that day as she'd swept the ceiling and the floor of the grainery in the hayloft, making them a "change room." 

This day, she was en route to buy a helmet and to watch her teacher at a show. Jill was thrilled that her sponsor had agreed to cover everything on the "start-up expenses" wish list she'd submitted.  Her friend was delighted to join in the celebratory outing!

At the show, they were shocked to see the teacher scratch, 2 minutes before cross. She'd never known her to even recommend doing that, let alone doing it! What could Jill learn from that?

*

Roomie had cooked another amazing dinner and Jill was glad to slip in to conversation as the curried lentil soup melted in her mouth.  Jill's favourite excerpts from her Fido plan were   "airtime charges (plus long-distance) apply to every call you answer on your wireless phone until you press end." because no one ever seemed to notice that this was common in plans except for her. It haunted them how the market might evolve over the duration of the 3 year terms because "text messages received from another mobile phone are free, with the exception of premium text messages (alerts, messages related to content, contests, and promotions)."The privacy policy section didn't really help Jill understand how to avoid this kind of costly, incoming message in the future landscape of advertising in the 3 yr contract window.

Roomie said that the lady on the radio insisting that the genetic discrimination in our society must be corrected, with laws, was a previous boss of hers! United States has laws about this, United Kingdom does too, but Canada is the only country without this protection.  The woman was inspiring and Jill was not surprised to learn of Roomie's past association.

Do You Need A Job?

Nevermind the incredible horses, Jill was entranced by the amazing and spotless barn.  Beautiful wood and windows and lighting fixtures and stone floor.  It was so magnificent she started making jokes to a partner in the business about how she'd be moving in.


He didn't laugh, he told her there's an apartment up top.... adding "We leave for Florida in three weeks, and will stay for 6 months, and we need someone else to come." Jill was learning how, many folks think that if you are SERIOUS about horses you can't stay in Ontario for the winter.  It's impossible to train at the required level when it is as cold and snowy as it gets in the area.  He asked if she was looking for work.


Jill e-mailed afterwards, glad that she'd employed the hutzpah to "take a chance. experiment" and stop in at Stonehedge for the clinic, because not only had she learned something, and smiled, she was seriously interested in the job lead! 


The reply came back right away, job description: 10 horses, daily mucking, turn out and grooming, tacking up and cooling out horses after exercise, grooming at competitions and some exercising/conditioning rides. A small but nice cottage is available, utilities included.


Roomie was thrilled to hear the news, "Do you need a job?' is one of my favourite expressions!"

*
One reason she couldn't resist yet another new job was the idea that the accomodation was a "private cottage." Jill told her friends it would feel so freeing to have like have a park-size rural landscape to sing freely to everyday, without her pesky little sister making fun of her musical efforts all the time. "Just think, my very own place!" she exclaimed, thinking to herself about the cute potential co-worker she hoped still worked there.

"What if that handsome Irish thoroughbred who caught your eye turns out to be on the equine-team you are about to work with?" her friend Matilda envied. "And I bet that cutie Jim remembers you from the show where you still had pink hair! When you were walking back and forth between Moxy at the dressage ring, Rue at the first aid tent and the activities of Bucker and the rest of the pre-training team, reporting on each to us others you went!"

Oh that day, groaned Jill, "I was so embarassed to have been running after Kelly Joe saying your dressage whip! drop the whip! in an effort to remind her what she already knew." What if he saw that?

She remembered how when they'd arrived at the show that day, and she was walking into the barn for the first time. A magnificent, spotless building made with no nails, and she'd said entranced "would somebody build ME a place like this?" and to her surprise her famous-and-esteemed-facility-survey-companion said "Well, that depends what you want to do."

When she met the stable manager, who was a partner to the rider the place was built for, she couldn't stop saying how impressed she was with the barn. "It is so clean and beautiful that I would eat off the floor. Seriously, just lay planks across the beams up there and I'll move in. I LIKE a treefort bed, that's all I need." she only half joked, smiling at guy's handsome brother, who seemed to work there too.

Not long after, they did offer her a job. Her teacher put in a good word for her with the Olympic level rider Jill was ready to sign on with, but adding "I want her back when you're done with her."

Other phrases that stuck in her head were "if you need a couple hours off every day to write, i don't have a problem with that" and "but I'd like to see you riding every day though" (talk about win win)

After she'd accepted the new position as groom, she heard some stories that unsettled her. One was that usually, while the riders stay at the Ritz, the grooms stay in a hockey arena. On cots, together in one massive room where they don't even turn off the lights most nights.  "And that's where all the best parties happen anyway."

Layers and Layers of Horse Clothes

Jill regretted moving in with the additional roommate. First of all she insisted that the heat remained turned off for the party and the guests froze.  Then, her use of all the shared space prevented other folks making use of it, including kitchen, office, music room, craft studio... They were already cramped and overcrowd. What had they been thinking? Meanwhile, it seemed her weeklong guest paid her to stay there but she didn't disclose that fact to the others that were providing the accommodation, nor did she share in the proceeds...

When the washing machine remained broken far past the landlord's promise, Jill managed to feel comfortable around town all week, in the jeans she'd visited the farm in on the weekend!

Some Sunday Mornings

are perfect even without a stirrup cup," Jill thought, pet/house-sitting at a neighbour's instead of joining in on the hunt club's early morning outing. Wishing somehow for the romantic addition of the smell of someone else cooking scrambled eggs, bacon, potatoes, and toast...