The owner was correcting some of the working students on their method and was trying to get them to think about what they had done. "What's more important, the horse or the human?" Jill piped up from the other side of the barn, "Unfair choice! Unfair choice!" to bring some smiles into the learning episode, ha.
*
Jill did not mention having once being diagnosed with a mental illness, on her cover letter to the full time job at the university newspaper, even though they wanted marginalized people to self-identify when applying! She just couldn't bring herself to do it. Was her "previous" diagnosis, of suffering Post Traumatic Stress syndrome even really relevant? The violent episodes she'd witnessed and experienced were long over now and she didn't want to feel disabled by them anymore.
But, to that very day, her body did not handle stress well. As she made a huge effort making healthy lifestyle choices, Jill's physical self did not cooperate as well as she hoped.
Currently her white blood cells/T-cell count was too high which indicated her immune system was attacking itself, instead of fighting disease. Meanwhile, her red blood cell count was too low. Hypoglycemic, and deficient in B12 like those celiac/lactose intolerants she worried she was, and more and more tired every day. And if felt like her eyesight worsened by the day also. Had the doctor really read all the test results correctly? She had several more appointments looming and would learn as much as she could.
She felt her true nature was actually just to be "up for the party" as well as hardworking, at all times! And was frightened, frustrated and ashamed of changes in her body that she couldn't control.
*
Jill always said there would always be a horse for her to ride, because she would ride the one that no one else wanted to. Sometimes, it was kind of like that with students too... she would get the difficult students, with unusual learning styles and so on.
She smiled to remember when one of her students, a boy, with ADD was doing a very good job with a difficult pony while Jill was issuing ongoing instructions... he'd interupted to exclaim "I think this is the best I've ever ridden!" which indeed it was!
Jill had complained that day to her teacher about all the layers she required for winter, and how annoying and cumbersome they were. Her teacher had consoled "Just wait til you have kids!" and Jill hoped the woman was right she'd learn that.
*
The business meeting was clearly a farce, from a guy with a crush. And, alas, she hated the way he orchestrated their meeting so as to entrap her to dinner. She felt she never should have agreed to go away... It even turned out she'd missed a riding lesson!
Her ego wondered if the texts he sent to her he sent to other babes too? His not-so-ex was tweeting beseeching comments about the same events he had thrown Jill invitations to. Regardless, she wasn't interested in his potential romance and her heart made alternate travel wishes... another guy she didn't want to be seeing suggested "Its never too late to settle."
She was already giving up on so many other life goals. Her horoscope asked if she was giving up before even getting started, but she was withdrawing her name from the April Rider Level test. But she did not feel at all ready to try the Rider Level 8. She wasn't fit enough, there weren't enough weeks left for training and practice and she hated having a new horse partner every class.
Especially unbearable because she didn't even have a horse to hack it out with.
It was all wrong. She was w r o n g again, yikes.
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