Many of the harsh accusations a former associate surprised her with, were clearly false, as she always payed her bills and she strove to honour her word. You could tell from her credit rating and reputation.
Perhaps the venom came from a fear that Jill had landed a new job by telling some awful truth about the "Senior," former coach behind her back. But, Jill was a a believer that if you couldn't say anything nice about a person, then don't say anything at all, and she'd left that facilty completely off her resume and not mentioned it at all in the interview.
Jill used her art to express and vent instead of trying to ruin anyone's credibility. Hadn't her work shown that time and time again? Perhaps it was immature and narcissistic to navel gaze in her songwriting and poetry as she did, but did it really hurt anyone? Was it also somehow misleading? Jill was trying to consider the feedback and learn what she could.
She was willing to acknowledge mistakes.
Jill remorsefully remembered her first Dressage clinic where she followed the clinician's instruction and whipped her horse repeatedly. It made her sick to think of it now. There was also the disaster of the barefoot natural trim, which she'd arranged for the very same love of her life and it still made her feel naseaous with guilt and regret and sorrow over the pain she'd caused him with that too.
It was also that true she went from work place to work place to work place. And she was willing to examine that pattern in detail. She couldn't remember if she'd quit or been fired after the episode that first came to mind.
As clear as the day it happened, Jill could hear the boss's partner shouting in the arena, as they were schooling the sales horse. "Hit him again" whack. "And again!" Whack. "Again. HARDER!" whack smack. It made her feel weak to wonder exactly what they were doing in there, but she still went to the arena window to sneak a peek.
The young bay Holstiner was rearing and bucking in response to whatever lesson they were teaching him. Beating him in front of or beside a vertical. He was spinning around. Was the whipping because he was refusing to jump or was there some other exercise? She couldn't tell. She turned away and busied herself with some chore at the far end of the barn, where she would not have to hear it so clearly, nevermind watch.
When the boss came in and Jill set about her duty of untacking, feeling so sorry for the pony and giving him kindness in her esp and being as physically gentle and considerate with the heaving, sweaty exhausted animal as she could. As he opened his mouth to release the bit, she noticed a tooth sticking out the side of his mouth. It took her a second to actually recognize what it was. A tooth! Jutting out sideways from the dental vacancy!
Was this why he was so disagreeable or a result? "Did you see this?" Jill nodded towards it, as she slid the halter into place and snapped it on.
Jill remorsefully remembered her first Dressage clinic where she followed the clinician's instruction and whipped her horse repeatedly. It made her sick to think of it now. There was also the disaster of the barefoot natural trim, which she'd arranged for the very same love of her life and it still made her feel naseaous with guilt and regret and sorrow over the pain she'd caused him with that too.
It was also that true she went from work place to work place to work place. And she was willing to examine that pattern in detail. She couldn't remember if she'd quit or been fired after the episode that first came to mind.
As clear as the day it happened, Jill could hear the boss's partner shouting in the arena, as they were schooling the sales horse. "Hit him again" whack. "And again!" Whack. "Again. HARDER!" whack smack. It made her feel weak to wonder exactly what they were doing in there, but she still went to the arena window to sneak a peek.
The young bay Holstiner was rearing and bucking in response to whatever lesson they were teaching him. Beating him in front of or beside a vertical. He was spinning around. Was the whipping because he was refusing to jump or was there some other exercise? She couldn't tell. She turned away and busied herself with some chore at the far end of the barn, where she would not have to hear it so clearly, nevermind watch.
When the boss came in and Jill set about her duty of untacking, feeling so sorry for the pony and giving him kindness in her esp and being as physically gentle and considerate with the heaving, sweaty exhausted animal as she could. As he opened his mouth to release the bit, she noticed a tooth sticking out the side of his mouth. It took her a second to actually recognize what it was. A tooth! Jutting out sideways from the dental vacancy!
Was this why he was so disagreeable or a result? "Did you see this?" Jill nodded towards it, as she slid the halter into place and snapped it on.
The boss was shocked "ohmigosh! Did you do that taking the bridle off?"
Jill glared at her. The boss took a deep breath and went on "Could you have caught him in the mouth putting the halter on?"
Jill had been trying to stick it out to the end of the agreed term for a good reference from the place, but she knew that she wouldn't/couldn't work there much longer.
Jill glared at her. The boss took a deep breath and went on "Could you have caught him in the mouth putting the halter on?"
Jill had been trying to stick it out to the end of the agreed term for a good reference from the place, but she knew that she wouldn't/couldn't work there much longer.
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